What is with these people?

I feel like you really figure out who someone is when they get into a relationship. Like, if they are really an independent person, they will stay independent. They will still spend time with their friends, still do things on their own, will still maintain their own separate life. Its those friends that fall off the face of the earth that make you wonder. Did you really mean all that much to them to begin with? Were you just their crutch until that boy came along that they could throw their lives at? I just don't really get it.

Ok, yes, I was always that girl that never had a boyfriend. I'm not really sure why. Sure, I dated, but nothing serious. I have an idea as to why my relationships never progressed but thats a conversation for later. So, while I was watching my friends come and go (in and out of relationships) I think I got angry. Why did they think it was ok for them to be friends with me when it was convenient for them? A few years ago I would stand on my soapbox and preach about how I would never cut my friends off when I found a boyfriend. I'm sure I was a bit tiresome to a few of my friends. But, in the back of my head I always wondered "what would I really be like"?

So here I am now, in a serious relationship. And I'm not like some of my friends. I have maintained my individuality, my friends, my career, and most of my social life. Sure, my boyfriend is around alot, but I have no problem telling him to stay home if I need my time with my friends or just by myself. What does the way that I act in a relationship say about me? Am I just too indignant to act like the rest of society when they become spoken for? Or am I one of the few girls left that thinks it really is important to maintain my independence? Whatever the reason may be, I know the way I am approaching love is the best way. If my relationship ever comes crashing down, most of my world, my individuality, and my social life will remain intact.

I would love to do a study corresponding people's behaviors in relationships to the success rate of relationships. Until I decide that I care enough, I will just observe my friends. And, of course, continue to get angry each time I lose a friend to the darkside and just want to shake them to wake them up!

Say what?

So, I'm writing this blog I guess? Not sure how this works. Should I write the obligatory explanation of why? Ok. Well, I guess I am doing it to have some sort of creative outlet. Ugh, so trite and expected, I know. Whatever, suck it.


Anyway, so I just moved to NYC and took a job with Henri Bendel. How fucking awesome does that sound? No, its not, I'm an accountant. Actually a Senior Accountant to be exact. I took a step down in rank from my old job actually. All so I could move into a company where I could be closer to what I love. I have a passion for fashion, or something. Whether I actually end up doing anything remotely related to the creative side of fashion is yet to be determined. But, for now, I am just considering myself lucky enough to be in an office where people dress ridiculously well and where you might find clothing samples in the next closest cubicle.

I'm am probably one of the more creative accountants you will find. Only I can't even really remember the last time I actually used my creativity. I'm a decent writer, and I guess that skill doesn't really go away when you are writing in some form on a daily basis, even if it is just an email. But I really feel like the "creative juices" that I used to have running through my mind have just, like, disappeared. It's like the endless number crunching, excel formulas, and journal entry approvals have just sucked the creativity right out of me. I guess the purpose of this blog is to figure out where it is hiding. You see, the more I write, the more I creatively think, the better I get at it, and then I'm back where I was before I was brainwashed by the JMU career department who told me all introverted individuals would be great accountants.

So let's start with a blog. My next plan of action will be to somehow get my hands on my very own sewing machine and taking sewing classes. Then I'll be so damned creative I won't even know what to do with myself. I'll still be a number cruncher, but I think I'll be a happier one.

That's my purpose with this thing. Who knows how much I'll write or what I will write about. We'll figure that out I suppose. But I'm not giving out the link to this thing yet. So if there is anyone out there that has somehow come across this, consider yourself lucky to be inside my head.

By the way, I so feel Carrie Bradshaw-esque writing this. Except I am sitting on a king sized bed in a Country Inn and Suites in Columbus, Ohio, and not staring out the window of my quaint NYC aparment waiting for Mr. Big to come along.